


The Time We Spend

by Black_Ink_2003



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Brief Keith/Lance, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Reader has slight anxiety that is never really mentioned, Romance, Slight fluff, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, Violence, injuries, klance, shy reader, space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 22:25:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19160200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_Ink_2003/pseuds/Black_Ink_2003
Summary: (Y/N) looks back on her time with Shiro when they were taken by the Galra.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please keep in mind this is fanFICTION, meaning it is not going to follow every character trait and the story plot line to a T. That being said, I would also like to make it known that I wrote this before we, the audience, learned that Shiro is gay. ALSO, if you would like me to do a male/male version of the story, please let me know! :D

Sometimes, when I have nothing to do in The Castle of Lions, I become lost in my want to be home on Earth. Usually when this happens I find myself sitting on the inside ledge of any random window of the castle, allowing me to see the vast beauty of space. While the blues, purples, greens, yellows, oranges, and reds are truly extraordinary against the black empty background of miles and miles of nothing, it only makes me long for Earth more. But at the same time, just looking out the window and knowing that somewhere out there is Earth, my home planet, and knowing that I am working with the Paladins of Voltron to keep that planet safe, warms my heart and gives me hope that I will return home one day.

 

 

“Hey, (y/n), are you ok?” Shiro, sneaking up behind me, asked. He had been my friend since our early days in the Garrison. We had fought side by side together and been through much that has brought us closer together. I know his darkest fears, and what keeps him from sleeping at night, and he knows me just the same.

  
“O-oh, hey Shiro…how’s life?” I replied, a small smile on my face.

“You know, keeping the other Paladins in line, fighting Zarkon, bringing peace to the galaxy…. But what about you? I know you’re thinking about home again, I can see it on your face.”

   
I looked down at the ship floor, just in front of Shiro’s feet. “I just…I want to go home, but I have nothing there for me. All that I need is right here on this ship,” My eyes softened and my smile grew ever so slightly, “You, and Keith, and now Lance, Pidge, and Hunk. I have my family right here with me but… I still long to go home. To be amongst Earth trees, and see human architecture and eat human food… I guess it’s selfish to feel that way. My situation could be so much worse. You and I could be back in that Galra prison with Matt and Mr. Holt…”

   
Shiro placed a hand on my shoulder, causing me to look up to meet his soft gaze. “(y/n), don’t you ever feel selfish for being homesick. You may be with your family here on the castle, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to miss Earth.” Shiro moved to hug me, drawing me in and holding me as if I could be ripped from him at any moment. “We have been through so much together… It wouldn’t be natural for you to not feel homesick.”

   
I smiled as I closed my eyes and tears began to run silently down my cheeks. “Thank you, Shiro,” I whispered.

   
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

   
“Shiro, what was that?”

   
“Shhhh…”

   
The pounding of footsteps echoed outside the cramped, dark room Shiro and I were being held in. I clung to Shiro’s arm for my own comfort, but he wouldn’t let go of my hand anyway.  
Our original garrison expedition clothing had been quite literally torn from us, and we were given prison uniforms. We both wore black, form-fitting jumpsuits, and a purple t-shirt-like piece of clothing that was shredded at the bottom.

   
The footstep-like sound faded and finally left, causing Shiro to loosen his grip on my hand ever so slightly and let out a sigh.

   
“I-…I didn’t mean to-“

   
“No, (y/n), don’t worry about it. I was just worried one of them would come in here and… hit you again.”

   
“Oh Shiro, what about Matt? And Mr.Holt?” I softly cried as I leaned my head on his shoulder and clung to his right arm more. My body shook with fear. I had never been good in tense situations, my flight instinct always over took my will to fight. Being cooped up in a small room didn’t help those instincts in any way. I was worried for the other two members of our crew. We were separated soon after we were abducted.

 

It felt like it had been days, or even weeks, before the door to our cell was opened. Both of us were longing to see any source of light, or receive any kind of food or water.

   
“Stand,” the galra soldier commanded, no hint of mercy in his cold gaze.

   
Shiro and I both stood, our hands still laced together.

   
Two more soldiers walked into the room. One grabbed Shiro by his arms, cuffing them together. The other soldier did the same with me, then proceeded to lead me out of the room. While Shiro too was dragged out of the room, he was led in a different direction.

   
“W-wait! Shiro!” I shouted.

   
“(Y/n)! We-We’re gonna be ok!”

   
“Quiet, hairless vermin!” The galran soldier detaining Shiro growled and backhanded my friend.

   
“Shiro! Let him go!” I screamed. The galran holding my arms dragged me further down the long corridor. I could no longer hear Shiro yelling. “Where are we going?”

   
The galran didn’t reply, and instead told me to change into the outfit laid out in the next room. He shoved me into the room and let the automated door behind me slam shut, leaving me alone without anyone for the first time on the ship.

   
The room was small and a set of clothing, similar to that of a bikini but made with metal, was laid out on the floor.

   
Maybe if I do what they want me to do, I’ll see Shiro again.

   
I took off the prisoner uniform I had been given, and changed into the revealing outfit I was ordered to wear. The main color of the outfit was black, and the trim was white that swirled in toward the center of both bottom and top pieces. It was metal, and looked much like a two piece bikini.

   
I sat down and waited for something, anything to happen. About ten minutes later, the same galran soldier came back to the room and detained me again. We walked for quite a few minutes before we entered the top level of what appeared to be an arena. There were bleacher-like structures, similar to those you would find at a basketball game. An oval shaped dirt arena was in the center, and two large automated doors were on either side.

   
“You are to serve these men drinks, and be silent unless spoken to. Don’t screw anything up or you’ll be thrown in the ring with the rest of the ones from the cells,” The Galra soldier explained.

   
I nodded hesitantly.

   
So… Shiro… Is that what happened to him? He may end up down there… Oh god …

   
I walked over to a counter that held a tray of different drinks that did not at all look anything similar to those on Earth. I watched other prisoners, female in appearance and wearing the same revealing outfits each in different color and trim. After figuring out how to interact with the Galran soldiers, I began walking up and down the stands, serving drinks while being ogled at. The outfit was so tight, I could feel the small chains digging into my shoulders.

   
I attempted to not watch the bloodbath going on in the ring. Galran soldiers cheered as prisoners were sent to fight some giant monster with a stick and a floating ball. Hearing screams of pain, watching dead and/or limp bodies being carelessly dragged off the arena was sickening. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I just wanted to be back home on Earth.  
Soon, I heard a commotion coming from the automated door where prisoners were being released into the ring from.

   
“This is my fight! Argh! I want blood!”

   
Shiro!

   
Shiro burst out of the door, breathing heavily and glaring with the look of a hunter eyeing its prey. However, I knew better. Shiro may portray a strong character on the outside, but I know he is always thinking of the worst possible scenario. He would fight the monster with everything he had, and wouldn’t give up, no matter what.

   
I watched in horror as Shiro was beaten, burned, and thrown around the arena like a rag doll. Tears pooled in my eyes as I watched the fight unfold. The tray of drinks I was holding became forgotten even as a galran soldier catcalled me over and began asking for more of the beverages.

   
“Oh Shiro…” I whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Attempted sexual assault

I awoke with a small shriek, bolting up in my small twin bed and almost falling off the edge in my panic. Sweat beaded my forehead and neck. My breathing was frantic and I gripped the sheets as I tried to collect my bearings. Silent tears streamed down my face, and I suppressed my hiccups so I wouldn’t wake anyone else asleep on the Castle of Lions.

  
Shiro… I’m so sorry…

  
A soft tapping on the door to my assigned room startled me, and caused me to turn my head toward the sound.

  
“Wh-who is it?” I asked, my voice shaky no matter how hard I attempted to calm myself down.

  
“It’s only me (Y/n)” Shiro said, his tone soft and calm.

  
“Y-you can come in.”

  
The door opened, and Shiro walked in, clad in the dark clothes he usually wore underneath his paladin armor. He moved to my bed and sat down next to me.

  
I laid my head on his shoulder and sniffed, letting the tear flow freely instead of attempting to suppress them. I gave out a weak laugh.

  
“I’m such a baby Shiro, crying over nothing but a dream.”

  
“Don’t… don’t say that-"

  
“Shiro… ”

  
“(Y/n), listen to me. I know that you don’t like to talk about your dreams but… just, let me help you, please.”

  
“I-I…” I sniffed “We were back on the Galra ship… I dreamt of exactly what happened to us from the time in our cell to the moment I saw you in the ring…”

  
“… I … I didn’t know you still got those nightmares… I thought I was the only one of the two of us who… you know.”

  
I smiled and hugged him. “I just want to sleep Shiro. I’m so tired,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes, tear stains on my cheeks.

  
Shiro ran his hands through my hair and nuzzled the top of my head with his chin. “Go ahead and sleep (Y/n), I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  
I did as he told me and laid down on the bed. Shiro held my hand, and as I drifted off I felt the bed next to me dip as that same hand draped across my sleepy form.

 

 

The next morning, Shiro awoke, asking me if it would be okay if he left to go train. I giggled and told him he didn’t need to ask me permission to leave. I then asked what time it was, and he answered four in the morning. The paladins elected to set up a time cycle similar to the one on earth, even if space had no night or day. I cringed, but asked if I could go with him anyway.

  
After both of us took separate showers and changed into more stable workout clothing, we left for the Paladin Training Room. We were quiet on our walk, content in the silence between us. It was calming in a sense.

  
Once we arrived at the Paladin Training Room, Shiro began setting up a simulation for the other paladins. Keith was the only one on time, as per usual, followed by Pidge, Hunk, and then Lance. I chose to sit out on this simulation and watch, as it was meant for more of the paladins working together during planet battles when the lions couldn’t be used. My role amongst the rest of the team was mostly strategics and diplomatic communications. I helped with strategic planning along side Shiro, Allura, and Coran. I was also involved with foreign relations with Allura. Together we worked out peace treaties and talked/persuaded others to join our cause. This training session was more about battlefield skill, strength, and agility when fighting one's opponent. I had and never have been good at fighting, which is why I help out in the ways I do instead.

  
Watching them work together was something else. They had their really good moments and their really bad moments. Hunk and Pidge worked really well together, so did Shiro and Keith. Lance and Keith were another story, though. The two had a flirtatious relationship but neither of them would admit it. Instead, they both resorted to throwing rude remarks at each other. This made battling side by side difficult for them.

  
Once the paladins were finished with their training session, each of them went their separate ways to recuperate. Shiro walked my way, only for Coran to beat him to me, that energetic glint in his eyes.

  
“(Y/n)!” Coran gleamed, “Allura and I need your help in the control room! We think we may have found some Kamatoes that are willing to side with us.”

  
“Oh wow, ok Coran, I will meet you there in a minute.” I smiled.

  
“Great! I’ll let Allura know that you’re on your way!” Coran ran off, his orange hair disappearing with him as he rounded the corner out of the room.

  
Shiro now stood in front of me, his arms crossed and a small smile on his face. “More work?”

  
“Yeah, you know it never really stops.”

  
“You need a break (Y/n), we don’t want you getting too stressed out.”

  
“You’re one to talk, Shiro,” I grinned, “with all of the nonstop training and battling that you do.”

  
He smiled and took my hand, “Here, I’ll walk you to the bridge.”

  
I looked up into his beautiful eyes and smiled, my heart warmed. “Thank you, Shiro.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Hey! Vermin girl!”

  
I turned my head, the tray in my hand shaking from seeing Shiro in the ring. I saw a Galra soldier, a bluish purple in color with big pointed ears and a scowl on his face.

  
“Get over here now! I've already called you three times!”

  
I walked over to him, no longer pretending to be happy in order to appeal and not get myself killed.

  
“That’s it, hairless rodent, know your place,” the glran soldier ran his hand up and down my forearm. “Never had a hairless before, at least not one where the only hair is on it’s head.”

  
He grinned from ear to ear, a sickening glint in his eyes. I turned my head away and faced the ring, afraid to pull away for fear of never seeing Shiro again.

  
“Please… don’t… ” I whispered. I could see Shiro hiding behind one of the pillars, attempting to get some sort of cover from the monster in the pit. He looked up in my general direction, and I will swear to this day that our eyes locked. I could see him grit his teeth, clench his fists, and run out from behind the pillar to fight the monster.

  
If he can fight through the fear, than I can do the same.

  
I looked into the Galra soldier’s eyes, turned, and pulled away from his grasp. I then proceeded to walk away and continue down the bleacher stairs like nothing happened. The blue Galra soldier yelled at me to return to him. But I paid no mind, no matter the consequences.


	3. Chapter 3

I arrived at the control room. Shiro’s hand lingered a bit longer in mine before letting go and parting ways with me.

  
“Allura, Coran,” I greeted, walking towards the both of them who were huddled around a holo-projector.

  
“(Y/n), a pleasure to see you again. I don’t think I’ve seen you sense our ground mission two days ago,” Allura gleamed, a warm smile on her face.

  
I rubber my hand up and down my opposite arm sheepishly, “Yeah, I’ve kinda been spending time with the paladins… but what do you need me for?”

  
“Well, come take a look at this,” Allura gestured to the holo-projector. There was a projection of a small planet, pink and yellow in color. Several spots were highlighted in purple, while other areas were highlighted in green. “These,” Allura pointed to an area highlighted in green. “Are tribes on Planet Kamate that are willing to work with us. While these,” Allura gestured to the areas highlighted in purple. “Are Kamatoe tribes that are not in favor of our cause. I’ve been thinking that there must be some way to convince them to side with us. If they continue to stay neutral, and galra appear, they could be in grave danger.”

  
“I see,” I said. “You need someone to go down there and talk with them.”

  
“Precisely, and I think that you’re perfect for the job, (Y/n).”

  
“Ok, when do you need me to go?”

  
“Actually!” Coran beamed, gliding to the projector and pulling up a list of events for the next day. “We already scheduled you to be there tomorrow morning. Meaning that you’ll have to leave tonight.”

  
“Oh wow, ok. I didn’t think I would be leaving this soon,” I said.

  
“Is something wrong, (Y/n)?” Allura asked. “You normally love these things.”

  
“No princess, nothing is wrong. I’m ready to be there tomorrow. I’ll go prepare my things now.”

  
“Perfect! Be back here by eight tonight!” Coran said.

  
I walked out of the control room.

  
I only just got back. I missed Shiro and my friends while I was away, and now I’m leaving… again…

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

My hands were pulled roughly behind me, the tray dropping from my grasp. I shrieked as I was spun around and dragged through a corridor, away from the arena.

  
“Let me go!” I yelled, struggling against the blue galra.

  
“Worthless scum! I’ll show you your place in The Galra Empire! Never walk away from a galra when they are speaking to you!” The blue galra yelled as he slammed me up against the wall. He held my hands above my head and used his other hand to hold me up by my neck, cutting off my airway.

  
Tears threatened to poke out from beneath my tightly shut eyes and I thrashed and struggled for air.

  
“That’s it, just give up you little-“

  
“Broz!”

  
The blue glara went stiff, lightening his hold on me ever so slightly.

  
“U-Ulaz! Sir, I was just-"

  
“Damaging property of The Galra Ring I see,” Ulaz said, light purple skin and fur in appearance with a white mohawk for hair, he was tall and slim. My eyes lit up when I saw Shiro with him. Shiro was badly beaten and bloody. He was confined to cuffs and had a muzzle over his mouth and nose. “Hand her over to me.”

  
“I, uh, sir… I would do that but this one still needs to learn her place. You see, she was misbehaving-"

  
“Broz! You will hand it over to me or so help me I will-”

  
“Understood sir!” Broz released his hold on me, allowing me to gasp for air. He shoved me forward and I tripped onto the floor in front of Ulaz’s feet.

  
“Leave” Ulaz commanded. I quickly stood to my feet, looking over at Shiro to see the rage swimming in his eyes as he stared at the fleeing Broz. Shiro was jerked forward by Ulaz, who was staring me down. “Follow me,” Ulaz demanded.

  
I did, standing by Shiro and following Ulaz as he pulled Shiro along.

  
“Thank y-"

  
“You will learn quickly around here to not speak until spoken to… It would be best if you learn that now and from me… not from another in a harsher way,” Ulaz said.

  
I decided not to utter another word from that point forward.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Graphic description of blood and violence, Thoughts of suicide

“No, really, (Y/n), I insist”

  
“Shiro, you have training tomorrow morning with the others. Besides, you along with the other paladins, Coran, and Allura are going to Olkarion in the evening tomorrow. I don’t want you too tired for that,” I explained, my backpack slung over one shoulder filled to the brim with outfits that fit the styles of many Kamatoe cultures. After all, the last thing I wanted to do is offend any of the tribes. I stood in the hanger of the castle, Shiro had stopped me from boarding onto a small ship I would have used to fly to Kamatoe.

  
“(Y/n), I don’t mind flying you there,” Shiro grinned down at me. “Besides, if you’re flying through the night, you’ll be tired once you get there or worst case scenario you fall asleep while flying.”

  
I sighed, knowing that I would really like for Shiro gave me a ride but I didn’t want to inconvenience him for then next day. “… are you sure?”

  
“Absolutely” Shiro beamed, and took my bag from me. As I went to thank him, he said, “Nice outfit by the way.”

  
I blushed and stuttered out a thank you. I was wearing a cloak-like article of clothing made entirely from colorful feathers that had fallen from flying bird-like creatures on Kamatoe.  
Underneath that I wore a brown crop top that clung to my form. Around my waist was a type of brown yoga pants. And of course, in traditional Kamatoen style, my feet were bare of any type of shoe. Overall, I felt self-conscious in the outfit. I have never felt comfortable in my own skin, and now I was showing more than what I usually show, especially without the cloak.  
I followed Shiro into the black lion. “Will Allura be mad that you left unannounced to take me?”

  
“Don’t worry about it, I already asked her before coming down here,” He said, a smug look on his face.

  
“Of course you did, Mr. Responsibility,” I muttered.

  
Shiro belly-laughed, “I heard that.”

  
I giggled, “Well, it’s true!”

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
Ulaz took Shiro and I into what appeared to be some kind of operating room. There were two guards in the room, both on opposite sides of an operating table. I was very tempted to ask what was going on but I chose to hold my tongue due to the fear of what would happen if I didn’t. Ulaz pulled Shiro over to the table, telling me to stand in the corner and not to move. I did as I was told, watching as Ulaz lifted Shiro’s hands above his head, the cuffs magnetically connecting to the table. Ulaz then separated my best friend’s hands, pushing them to his sides.

  
“The druids requested an upgrade, after watching your performance,” Ulaz explained, picking up some tools on a separate tray, his body obscuring my view of what they were. “They want to test out a new prosthetic technology in the ring before beginning to use it in battle.” Ulaz turned to me. “Face the wall.”

  
I hesitantly turned around and did as I was told.

  
“Take off his muzzle,” Ulaz commanded, followed by the sound of metal hitting the floor.

  
“(Y)-(Y/n)! You need to get out of-“ a loud smack followed Shiro’s words.

  
I flinched as I heard the sound, only to flinch again as a chainsaw-like sound resonated through the room.

  
“No… no! No! NO! NO! NO! Please! Do this, don’t- AGH!” Shiro screamed as the tool Ulaz was using made contact with him.

  
My body shook with fear, and out of instinct to protect my friend I turned around. The sight before me was horrifying. Shiro was screaming, his eyes were closed and his body was convulsing as Ulaz pushed what appeared to be some kind of bone saw into Shiro’s right shoulder. Blood dripping onto the floor once it overflowed from pooling underfeed his shoulder on the table. I screamed Shiro’s name as tears immediately pooled in my eyes. As the water droplets fell, one of the galra soldiers that was in the room latched onto me and restrained my arms before I even realized I was moving toward Shiro in an attempt to pry Ulaz off of him. I screamed and twisted my body in an attempt to escape the soldier. I tried to bite their armor, stomp on his boots, throw my head back into his chest plate, kick my legs, go limp and try stopping to the floor, twist, and attempt everything I could to get away and save my beloved Shrio. But I could do nothing. All I could do was watch, scream, cry, and beg for mercy on Shiro’s behalf. At some point during the procedure I offered to take his place, to do anything they wished of me if only Shiro would be safe from all harm.

  
Nothing worked…

  
Nothing changed…

  
His screams still haunt me at night…

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“(Y/n)… (Y/n)… come on, wake up. You’re scaring Black, she’s getting worried…”

  
With a small shriek I jolted awake, hitting my forehead against Shiro’s. We both groaned in sync, and I began to apologize profusely. In my ranting I began to notice the beautiful view outside the lion. The world we landed on looked like what earth would look like if the plants under the oceans switched with the plants on land, and were shades of pink, red, and yellow. I stopped my apology filled rant, mesmerized by the view in front of me.

  
Shiro smiled, “Welcome to Kamatoe.”

  
“It’s so… so… woah,” I stammered.

  
Shiro opened the mouth to the black lion and I followed him outside. “Well, I don’t want to leave so soon, but I’ve got to get head back to the castle.”

  
I smiled, “I don’t mind, I think I can manage myself from here.”

  
Shiro nodded, expression soft. As he began walking back into the mouth of the black lion, I ran to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my head into his back. The white and black armor was cold against my cheek.

  
As I hugged him I whispered, “Thank you, Shiro, for everything.”

  
Shiro shifted in my embrace, wrapping his hands around me as well and resting his chin on the top of my head. “You make it sound like a goodbye.”

  
“I… I don’t… You never know, I just don’t… I can’t lose you, I just… I’m sorry. I don’t mean for it to sound like goodbye. I just really miss you when you, or I am, away.” I clung to his form tighter. “Please be safe.”

  
Shiro lost his hold on me, and I followed his actions. He then rose one hand to my cheek, lifting my head gently to meet his eyes. “(Y/n), I will never leave you. Not for good. Not again. I care too much for you. I will be back to pick you up in a week… right here… same time. I promise.”

  
I smiled. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

  
Shiro hugged me again, one last time before departing. “I’ll count on it.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
My throat felt raw, and my voice was weak along with my body. I could only imagine how Shiro might feel right now. I watched the rest of the procedure, from the disposal of his arm to the attachment of his new metallic one. I lied on the cold hard ground of a cramped dirty cell. I had been taken from the operating room where Shiro was once Ulaz requested the presence of someone named Haggar.

  
Time seemed to pass slowly, with guards periodically coming to collect me for drink serving in the ring. I never saw Shiro after that day in the operating room. I occasionally saw Ulaz spectating in the ring, and the same sightings happened with Broz. The outfit I wore would sometimes draw unwanted attention. I grew to learn to keep my mouth shut and just let what would happen, happen. Of course nothing ever went past rude remarks and being touched in places that made me uncomfortable.

  
The tears stopped after what felt like a few months. The nightmares were never ending, but at least I stopped screaming at the reoccurring ones. I longed for home, for Shiro, Matt, Mr. Holt, and Keith who was still back on Earth. I longed for something that I knew would never come. Sometimes I considered jumping over the railing that separated the crowd from the fighters. Sometimes I considered running from the guards in hopes of getting shot, or just lash out until I was executed for being non-compliant. However, with all of these dark thoughts swimming about in my head, the thought of seeing Shiro again kept me going. The thought of one day escaping and seeing Earth again kept me going. To see home, my friends, my family, my planet again is what I longed for, and kept me in the small amount of light that was left in my mind.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this chapter is a little shaky, so I apologize for that. But I promise it gets better as you keep reading.

Once I was settled into the hotel-like building Allura booked for me, and caught some sleep, I awoke to begin my duties for the day. My first stop was with the largest tribe on Kamatoe. They were notorious for being unaccepting to aid or siding in any type of cause. The speech was set to be broadcast to the rest the planet. Allura wanted each encounter with the tribes to be seen by all of the others. She claimed that the more our message was seen and repeated, the more likely other tribes would be to join our cause.

  
I prepared to walked up on stage. I was surprised at how fast and well organized Allura had set everything up. As I rose up the stairs to the round wooden platform that was surrounded on all side by the reptilian race, my heart pounded with nerves. I took a deep breath, telling myself that there was nothing to be afraid of, because there really wasn’t. I reached for the ball-like-microphone on a podium and looked around at all of the Kamatoens that had showed up to hear me speak.

  
I recited the words Allura had me memorize. “Hello! I am (Y/n), representative of Princess Allura and the Paladins of Voltron. I come to you today asking for partnership in the fight against the tyrant Zarkon and his Galra Empire. Beings and worlds are suffering under his rule. He strives for destruction and total domination of all that lives. Voltron is working to prevent this, and keep not only you but others safe from his grasp. Join us in our fight against this violence. Help us save not only your own but those who are innocent and slaughtered at the hands of this power-hungry being! Work with us, alongside others and the Blade of Marmora. Together we will end his rule! Together we can stop this senseless violence and bring peace to the galaxy!” I spoke, my voice filled with emotion fueled by my time held captive on the galra ship. I turned as I gave my speech, attempting to connect with each Kamatoen personally.

 

…Silence…

 

There was no response from the audience, and I feared that the microphone-like-ball was not working. I feared that I said the wrong thing or that Allura just so happened to be wrong about the Kamatoens being able to understand our language. That was of course until I was bombarded with questions.

 

“Why should we trust you?”

  
“The Galra will leave us alone!”

  
“You’re not of any race we’ve seen before, you are the outsiders!”

  
“The paladins have never saved us before!”

  
“Liar!”

  
“Why do you only come when in need of our help?”

  
I grew nervous and my body began shaking as the yelling grew. I didn’t know how to address some questions, statements, to know how to handle so much shouting at once.  
“I-I.. ummm… well you see…” I stuttered.

  
One of the reptilian people closer to the stage pointed their clawed finder accusingly at me. Their voice louder than any of the others. “You’ve never even witnessed pain at the hands of one of them!”

  
I stopped in my stammering, and stared at them. Anger boiled in my blood at the statement. How could such a being make such assumptions when I have been through so much more than they realize?

  
“No…” I said.

  
The crowd began to quiet down. “Excuse me?” The same Kamatoen asked.

  
“I said no. You don’t get to diminish my pain, my struggle, my experiences because you have no idea what I have been through. You have not seen the people who you most consider family ripped apart from each other. You have not heard the screams of others’ physical pain at such extreme measures that to this day they cannot remember the incident. You have not FELT the pain of understanding that no one is coming for you because they don't even know that you are alive! You do not know the nightmares and the tears that have been shed from these eyes!” I pointed to my own and stepped closer to the Kamatoen. “You do not know them because you did not see the man you love most in this damned forsaken universe scream and beg and cry and plead for mercy as his own arm is cut of and replaced right in front of you! You did not have to live with the knowledge that everyone you knew on your whole planet thinks you are dead and now you are out in the vast cruelty of space fighting someone else’s war! YOU DO NOT KNOW TRUE PAIN, AND LOSS, AND SORROW!” I yelled, my eyes stung with fresh tears. “You do not get to decide to dismiss someone else’s pain when they have seen firsthand the brutality of the enemy. I have lost so much more than you ever could have, living here and never once taking sides, providing aid, or accepting any.” My breathing was heavy, the crowd was silent, and I only now realized what I had just done. I lashed out. All of the pent up sorrow, and anger, and resentment was just released into words I could never take back.

  
I ran offstage, feeling the eyes of the crowd follow my form as I dashed off toward somewhere, anywhere where no one would be as anxiety began taking over at what I had just done.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

I had not seen Shiro since the moment I was dragged out of the operating room. I could hear his cries and sobbing growing more and more faint as the room grew further and further away. When I was thrown into our previously shared cell, I rushed for the door only for it to be shut in my face. My body slammed into the metal that separated me from freedom. I pounded my fists against the door, yelling profanities and demanding to be taken to Shiro. Over time, my throat grew dry and my hands were cracked and bleeding. I slid down the door until I was on the ground, resting with my head against the cold metal. I cried until there were no more tears to shed.

 

I had no idea how long I was on that floor until the metal door lifted open. I fell onto my side, having previously been leaning against it as I often did this after working in the ring. I looked up from my slumped over position, doing nothing to support my own body weight as two galra guards lifted me off the ground.

 

They took me to a lower level of the ship, the one the ring was on. Only this time, instead of taking me to the stands, they took me right to the ring arena. My cold, metal, black and white uniform that still adorned my form was barely clinging to me when I was thrown to the dirt ground. I was hoisted into a kneeling position as one of the guards chained my arms behind me, wrapping them to a pole in the center of the arena. My head was pushed forward, another chain connected to a bolt in the ground was connected to a collar the second guard had placed around my neck. They restricted me from pulling my head all the way up, forcing my to hold my own head up in a painfully awkward manner.

  
“What’s going on?” I whimpered, scared to speak out of line, yet curious as to why I was here and forced into such a position.

  
Neither of the soldiers answered me, instead leaving the arena, only to return with a tray of three tools. Fear quickly took hold of me, speeding up my heart rate and widening my eyes.

Two more soldiers entered the arena, each holding long, purple sticks with what looked to be sparks appearing at the tips. Between them was Shiro, the muzzle back over his mouth and nose. His nose was red, the skin the muzzle rested on having been rubbed and cut. He’s eyes were so full of hatred I swear I could see red in them. He looked at me from his previous rage filled glare at the soldiers. His expression softened, then his eyes went wide, and fear became evident within him.

  
“Alright, pretty boy, here’s how this is gonna go,” one of galra soldiers said, one that looked to be of higher rank from the others. “You are gonna fight in the ring, no more starving yourself, no more dehydrating yourself, and no more clawing and biting at the prosthetic we gave you,” He barked. He then motioned to the two soldiers behind me with a wave of his hand. “Otherwise-” One of the soldiers picked up a thin black whip. “-your little minx over here is gonna take the beating for you, since you obviously don’t care about your own well being.”

  
The soldier holding the whip raised it above his head and brought it down with such force that I could hear the whistle as it moved through the air. I gasped as it hit my back, then whimpered and clenched my eyes shut as the stinging aftermath burned into the bare skin of my back.

  
Shiro moved to rush toward me only for the two soldiers next to him to thrust the purple electrical sticks into his sides. Shiro’s muffled yell echoed in the arena. He stopped moving forward only to stare at me with a desperate and glossy look in his eyes. The sticks were removed from him as another lashing hit my back. I whimpered again, then yelped as a third hit me, and cried out as a fourth one came crashing down.

  
“Stop! Please!” I begged, having attempted to quiet my own voice until the pain became too much. I could feel blood begin to trickle down my sides from the new marks on my skin. Tears began to run down my cheeks. I tried to look anywhere but at Shiro, knowing he did not need that added stress.

  
Shiro himself was also crying, not being able to consent to the terms with the muzzle over his mouth.

  
My neck was growing tired with each passing second. Eventually I bowed my head so it lay on the ground. I was folded in half with my feet tucked under by butt, my belly touching my thighs, my head just above my knees in the dirt, and my arms stretched behind me.

  
“Take off the muzzle, I want to hear him beg,” The head soldier demanded.

  
One of the soldiers next to Shiro pulled off the muzzle, and Shiro wasted no time.

  
“Stop! Just stop this! I agree to your terms! I’ll do anything you ask just, please, leave (Y/n) alone,” Shiro pleaded, desperation evident in his voice.

  
The head galra paused, motioning for the one holding the whip to cease. “... alright, Champion, then it’s a deal. Just know that any wrong moves, and your little one here will be at the mercy of myself.” He paused again and motioned at the soldier with the whip to continue. “However,” another slash came across my back, causing my to cry out. “Let us continue as to get the point across.”

  
Shiro’s eyes went wide again. “No!”

  
…

  
My screams echoed through the arena no matter how hard I tried to silence myself. The soldiers eventually left, unchaining me and leaving me limp yet still awake on the ground. Shiro had been left there too, but I was sure the guards were watching us from somewhere. They had placed the muzzle back on him. As soon as the soldiers were out of sight, Shiro raced toward me, his bound hands preventing him from helping me in any way.

  
I shakily lifted myself off the ground into a sitting position, blood spilling off my wounds. As soon as I was able to focus my vision, I could see the horrified expression on Shiro. He had tears spilling out of his eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed and his breathing uneven.

  
I raised my arms in an open hug-like motion. “Come here, Shiro,” I whispered. He slowly moved toward me, leaning forward to rest his head on the crook of my neck. His muffled hiccups broke my heart as I wrapped my arms around him in a hug.

  
“Shhh, shh… it’s ok, Shiro… I’m ok,” I cooed.

  
Shiro slowly shook his head as to not jostle me.

  
“I promise you that nothing is held against you… None of this is your fault… Everything is going to be ok, Shiro.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

I cried myself to sleep that night, after having changed back into my regular clothes and sitting alone at the spot where Shiro had dropped me off. Allura told me, very curtly, to not continue my diplomatic mission. She said she would have someone sent to pick me up within 36 hours. I knew I would be chewed out by Allura when I arrived back at The Castle of Lions, but at the moment I did not care. I was thinking about wanting to be back in Shiro’s arms, to forget everything and drop all of my responsibilities for even just a little bit.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

I had been sitting in this cell for who knows how long at this point. My stomach growled, my tongue was dry, and my were muscles stiff from having not moved due to the small confines of my cell. My eyes were closed as I imagined life back on Earth. I pretended to be back home, studying for a test, or taking care of my younger siblings. My thoughts were interrupted as the door to my cell slid open.

  
In walked Broz, a smug grin on his face. “You’re coming with me,” He said as he pulled me up by my arms.

  
I did not fight with him, already giving into the fact that there would be no escaping. No one was around, and I doubted anyone would care. I was no longer new on this damned ship, no longer prime and unmarked. Bruises littered my stomach, back, and legs from having been beaten when I made even the slightest mistake in the ring.

  
Broz pulled me along with him as he made his way down several ship corridors, his disgusting grin growing wider as we got to whatever destination awaited us. At three different points in our journey, he had looked back at me with that one glazed look no one wants to be looked at with, licking his lips as he did so.

  
Just as Broz was entering a code for the door to what I assumed was his quarters, a flurry of black and purple tackled him to the floor. I stepped out of the way of his attacker, my eyes going wide, and I flinched. Punches were being thrown, along with grunts. The attacker was wearing a standard prisoner uniform, but I could not get a good look at their face. Eventually, the prisoner was on top of Broz, locking his arms between the prisoner’s thighs. The prisoner was choking Broz, cutting off his airway. I never bothered to run or scream, not caring about Broz compelled me to stay silent and not call out for help, and being sent to some worse fate compelling me not to run away. When Broz’s body went limp, the attacker stood, then turned to me. My breath hitched when I recognized the prisoner, a smile creeping its way onto my face.

  
Shiro stood in front of me, his chest heaving and eyes still filled with rage. I ran to him, hugging him as if nothing else in the universe mattered, because to me nothing else did. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as Shiro slowly wrapped his arms around me.

  
“Shiro,” I whispered. “You have no idea how much I have missed you.”

  
Shiro grunted, “Same goes for you. We need to get out of here.”

  
“How?” I asked. “There are guards everywhere,” I stated, my head laying on his chest.

  
“Follow me, and I’ll get you out of here”

  
I trailed after him, attempting to keep quiet and let him navigate his way to wherever he was going. I trusted him, and hoped that what was happening was not some sick fever dream.

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
I awoke to a dark sky, the sound of a soft thud, and a metallic growl. Shiro was standing over me, disappointment evident in his eyes. I stood up, dusting myself off and giving him a half smile, the kind you give someone when you know you did wrong. Shiro simply walked beside me in silence as we boarded the black lion. I sat down behind the pilot seat, leaning my back against the interior of the metallic cat.

  
“I… I know what I did was wrong,” I muttered, my head hung in shame. Shiro was silent from his position in the pilot’s seat, flying us back home. “I-I didn’t mean to blow up, I just… I don’t know what came over me… I know that’s no excuse,” I whimpered, biting back tears. “Ugh! This is pathetic! I’m crying and I don’t even… I-I…” I held my head in my hands, feeling pathetic and helpless.

  
Two arms wrapped themself around my curled up form, a head resting atop mine.

  
“Shhh sh sh, I know (((Y/n)))... I know…” as Shiro lifted his head, I lifted mine as well. I curled into his chest, letting the tears fall.

  
“I-I wanna go ho-home, Shiro,” I hiccuped.

  
“I know sweetheart. I do to.”

  
“An-and I wanna ta-take you with me.”

  
Shiro let out a breathy laugh, bringing a small smile to my face.

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
Shiro was able to sneak us onto a small ship in one of the hangers. We had been traveling in empty space for weeks, possibly a little over a month. There were barely enough rations on board to last us the next few weeks.

  
Shiro was asleep on the floor of the cockpit, I was piloting the ship with the little knowledge Shiro had taught me in such a short amount of time. I put the ship on auto-pilot, continuing on a course we hoped would take us back to Earth. I walked to where Shiro was sleeping, pulling a blanket out from an overhead compartment and covering him with it. Where the muzzle placed on him had cut away at the skin was now a bright pink scar. A tuft of his hair has also turned white from stress.

  
I walked to the opposite end of the cockpit, not that the distance was very long. I started pulling off my shirt in order change into one of the only other pair of clothes Shiro was able to find on this ship. With my back still bare, I heard shuffling behind me.

  
“Don’t worry. I’m turned away from you, I promise,” Shiro said, a sleepy quality to his vocals.

  
“It’s ok, Shiro. I trust you,” I said as I pulled on a black, long-sleeve shirt.

  
“You… um… your scars aren’t looking so well. They look red and irritated, (Y/n).” Shiro said.

  
I turned back around to face him, “I’ll be ok, don’t worry about me.”

  
“I do though. You’re all I have left…”

  
“I could say the same, Shiro.”

  
“Let me help you, (Y/n), at least put some of that stuff on them so the irritation goes down.”

  
I hesitated before giving in. “Ok, you can do that if you want.”

  
Shiro pulled out a bottle from that overhead compartment and motioned for me to sit down on the floor. I did as was told, lifting up the back of my shirt so Shiro could apply stuff to the wounds.

  
Shiro sat behind me, gently taking his ointment covered hands and rubbing them onto my skin. I leaned back into his touch, starving for affection.

  
“You know, this may not be the best time, or the best circumstances, but (Y/n)... I know you may not feel the same, but I want you to know that I love you… and if this is how we are going to die, floating in space, then I just want you to know that…”

  
I smiled, turning my neck so I could see him as I said “Oh Shiro, you have no idea how long I have wanted to tell you, I love you too.”

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
We landed back at the castle of lions, Allura already waiting in the hanger.

  
“Do you understand what you could have done?” Allura yelled, causing me to hang my head in shame in front of her.

  
“Yes, Allura,” I whispered.

  
“You very well could have put the whole mission in jeopardy! For quiznaking sake, you could have started a war!”

  
“I understand, Allura, and I will do everything I can to make it right.”

  
“Well, lucky for you, you won’t have to. The leader of that tribe spoke with me and said they, along with twenty-six other tribes, will join our cause,: Allura sighed, “This could have gone so much worse.”

  
“But it didn’t, and everything worked out,” Shiro said. “Everyone has their breaking points, Allura. Give (Y/n) a break, I know she won’t disappoint you again.”

  
Allura shook her head before looking me in the eyes one last time and stomping out of the room.

  
Shiro walked me back to my room, when I asked him to stay with me. We sat together on my bed, my head leaning on his shoulder, and our hands entwined.

  
“You don’t know how much I love you, Shiro,” I said, my eyes closed.

  
“No, you don’t know how much I love you, (Y/n),” Shiro stated.

  
“Well I bet that I love you more."

  
“Nope, I have the most love for you," I opened my eyes, only for Shiro to stand, picking me up by my sides and quite literally sweeping me off my feet. I giggled, holding onto his shoulders as he spun me around.

  
“Shiro! I have the most love for you that anyone could give!” I squealed, just before he laid me onto the bed and straddled my waist.

  
“You’re my little lioness, you know that?” Shiro chuckled.

  
I hummed and said “And no one else’s."

  
“You also say weird things sometimes,” Shiro laughed, bending down to hover himself above me, “but that’s why I love you.”

  
I smiled, lifting my hands to cup his face. I gently pulled his head down, sharing a tender kiss with the man I love most.

  
“I promise to love you always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading my story! If you have any requests, please let me know. I write for Voltron, Star Wars/The Clone Wars Series, World of Warcraft, Supernatural, and Avengers. I'm down to write M/F, M/M, and F/F. Feel free to give me feedback!


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